I've been spending some time this year on a completely new direction for me. Or to be more accurate, re-awakening a very long dormant one.
Most musios I know have been involved with music since their youth. I'd also been musical from a young age, but for me it was a private sort of thing. I learned recorder, and developed a love for baroque music. But when I went to High School the music department considered the recorder to only be a beginners instrument (Not so! Listen to these guys), so I was discouraged from pursuing it further.
Then I took singing lessons, but can't recall ever performing in public. My position at the bottom of the school pecking order suggested any attempt to do so would be a potentially humiliating experience before singing a single note. I lacked confidence back then.
So I quietly played my recorder in my own room, just for my own enjoyment. And sang in the middle of the congregation at church. Somewhere I'd filed music as being for other people, even though I'd been told by my music teachers I had good tone.
Roll forward several decades. I was organising music lessons for the children, and their teacher suggested I give the worship team at church a go. Deep withing my spirit was a little nudging to just give this a try and see where it leads me, so with much trepidation I went along.
It was really hard overcoming a lifetime of burying that side of myself. On more than one occasion I had a real battle inside of myself to silence the negative voice telling me I wasn't really good enough and didn't really belong here. (Aww, crap, I'm trying not to cry just writing this story).
It's been hard coming into this as a newbie in my 40's. But I'm following that litle nudging in my spirit, and all the feedback I'm getting is positive.
So last Sunday found me on a stage singing with a microphone in my hand in front of the congregation as a backing vocalist. And once I got past the first song I felt really good about it.
